Mazatlan

(Land of Monuments and Chicken Feet)

by Richard Kiser
This is the second of a three-part series on a cruise to Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta.
 Welcome to Mazatlan. Step out to the veranda and take a deep breath -pure Mexico fills the lungs. Your eyes are greeted by an industrial marina and the worker ants are very busy. Time to set out on our next adventure. In order to get to the main gate for cruise passengers you must first hop on a little trolley that winds it’s way through cargo containers and moving forklifts –sort of like a mechanized bull fight with steroids involved. We were dropped off in front of the exit and moved through the building that contains every Mexican trinket you can think of. Exiting the building we were greeted by the entire Mexican tourist bureau. Tip #1- I suggest to everyone who is going to hire a taxi for the day to make sure your driver speaks English well, maybe have some questions in mind to force them to demonstrate their English ability. What we found was when it comes to negotiating a price for the day where money is involved they all speak perfect English. Enter Henry. While we are talking money, this guy does everything but quote Shakespeare to demonstrate his command of the language. We hire him for $60 for the day. We climb into his open air taxi and are set to go, just one thing, we are parked in. As he tries to extricate the taxi I am thinking about Austin Powers, one inch forward, one inch back repeat 20 times. As we pull out he mumbles something about his English no being so good—whatever. We’re off! We wind our way through the marina district headed to the hills and beautiful coastal views that only mainland Mexico has to offer.  Travel tip #2 - take 2 cameras, extra batteries and memory sticks.  Within 5 photos, Laura’s camera craps out, my camera runs out of memory and that sinking feeling takes place. Luckily, our cameras use the same memory and disaster is averted.  This part of the tour is where no buses will take you, hillside homes, narrow and hilly streets with great views of the ocean and the city of Mazatlan. If you take this route you will see many homes under construction and you realize they definitely have different building codes than the U.S. and from this moment on we were not entering a multi-story structure. Here come the monuments. We leave the hills and head north along the coast. This stretch is marked with a monument every 20 feet. (Small exaggeration)  Henry drops us off in front of cliff divers just getting ready to perform. I have just enough time to snap a photo of the diver platform and I catch the diver in midair, perfect. We wander a little bit and find a monument to a mermaid and her child, this is a serendipitous moment as Laura has brought Dominic with us in the hopes of leaving a little bit of him behind in beautiful and meaningful places. (Dominic passed away the previous week). We continue viewing coastal monuments from motorcycle policeman to beer making, the only one I thought was missing was a bronze of the Frito Bandito, more on this later. Off to downtown. Downtown Mazatlan is alive. Narrow streets, beautiful buildings that give you a feeling of Europe and traffic congestion to complete the feel. Henry drops us off and we head to the Mexican version of Wal-Mart. The market is a block size building containing 30 stands that sell exactly the same tourist stuff but also fresh produce you will never see in the states, and the best part, meat stands featuring pig heads, assorted entrails, and of course chicken feet. We did look for iguana on a stick but had no luck. So instead we watched the little “Mexican Deli’s” located through out the market. Now remember, there is no FDA in Mexico and we have already viewed the slicing, dicing and handling of meat and poultry without  the sanitary standards we take for granted -time to eat. We found a stand with several locals and decided to take the plunge. We ordered and while waiting watched the locals to gain the proper application of condiments to our food. Mission accomplished and no one got sick. Next stop Forte de Mazatlan. Heading north, across from the El Cid resort hotel is a private country club and armed guards. This area is where the Mexican Mafia along with Americans and Canadians choose to live. Why? Remember the Frito Bandito? Kidnappings happen every day in this area of Mexico. The homes in this area go from about 350K upwards. Nice setting, golf, tennis, pool and spa.  We stop at the club house and have a margarita while watching some tennis. Tip #3. Just pretend you belong. Off to find another special place for Dominic. 

About a mile north is the gold zone. This area is way developed and has several ocean front palapas. Henry takes us to the first spot - an ocean front restaurant that he has a deal with. We reject it and after 3 u-turns and a couple of miles, accept it. Great lunch, great margaritas, and the music playing was the Mexican version of “I did it my way”. This was played at Dominic’s life celebration and it was only natural for Dominic to also rest here. A small sprinkle of eternal life and love and it’s time to head back to the ship. I wonder what’s for dinner?

We’ve all been there, right?. You have just spent a day and a half dealing with airports, unplanned layovers and flight delays, knee-destroying plane seats, humorless flight personnel, lost luggage, a view-room that overlooks a parking lot…but it’s OK, because now you’re on the beach, settling into a bright-blue wooden beach chair with a cold Pacifico floating in a bucket of ice and a fresh shrimp cocktail on order. Your heart beat clicks down to about 120 as you gaze out to sea as all your life troubles suddenly seem trivial, or at least manageable. Life is damn good. This well-deserved peace lasts about, oh, two minutes, when the first “salesman” squats next to you, welcoming you to paradise, and oh, by the way, how about a nice piece of “real silver” jewelry, and if that doesn’t work he happens to have a line on some good ganja or blow, or his cousin gives a great massage.

 Now most of us don’t want to be rude. After all, the beach hawkers work very hard and make very little. It’s good, honest work (the part about the drugs is actually rare) and they deserve your respect and kindness. But what you really want is to just be left alone to chill with your numb thoughts. So, how do you handle this without being a crass jerk? First, learn these three words of Spanish ” no gracias, amigo (a)”. Say this in a friendly manner, but with no equivocation. And above all, do not so much as glance at their merchandise, unless, of course, you really are in a buying mood. Then you are likely to barter a good price compared to the shops, as there is no storefront overhead for the seller. Once you show any degree of interest you have opened a door that will not easily close. If you can’t remember the three words, gaze straight ahead and simply shake your head. Generally, the same people work the same beach day after day and they all know one another. Eventually, it will be known that you are not a buyer and will be left alone, more or less.

In town it’s the time-share people who you encounter. It varies from beach town to town, but generally they have a small booth on the sidewalk. They might employ a “hook” to entice you, like “free information” or “$25.00 jeep rental”, and like all successful vultures, they can spot you  two blocks away. You, the savvy traveler, have a couple of workable options. One, when you see you are approaching  a sales booth, cross the street. Of course, you could spend way too much time doing this and it increases your chances of getting run over and badly maimed. A better method is to look and act like a local. If they perceive this they will leave you alone. This means walking with a purpose, like you know where you’re going, even though you have no clue. Lose the bright new t-shirt that advertises the local cantina and the straw hat with the multi-colored headband. Try to have tanned legs and arms. If they still come on to you, and you feel obligated to repsond, just say “I live here”. They’ll probably know you’re lying, but they won’t push the conversation.

Then, when you actually move to magical Mexico and find that time-share sales are one of your only employment opportunities, you will despise people like me who share their dubious wisdom.

There is a genuine land rush going on anywhere near the beach in Mexico. Prices are rising very fast, with village after village near the major tourist areas experiencing price escalations that are sometimes hard to believe. The coast line north of Puerto Vallarta, mostly in the state of Nayarit, has been designated as the next major area of development by the Mexican government, and the cost of ownership has skyrocketed. Not surprisingly, rumor has it that ex-president Fox owns a good chunk of that coast acquired before leaving his six-year term, which may be a factor in why it has been targeted (ya think?).

I have seen houses selling for $500,000 - $700,00 that would have been $50,00 ten years ago and $20,000 ten years before that . A little village 1 ½ hours north of PV is selling ocean lots (just the dirt) for $400,000. If you do find something for a steal, it’s probably ejido land, which legally can’t be transferred to a private party until it becomes regularized….a daunting and complex procedure. Developers are buying up large tracts of land for future development. The same thing is taking place on the Riviera Maya, the Los Cabos region, just south of Tijuana in Baja Norte, Zihuatenejo/Ixtapa, and Puerto Penasco (Rocky Point) and other beach locales. Much of what is not in the cross-hairs is still ejido land.

Are there still deals to be found? Yes, but you really have to scratch and search. A more compelling question is where will it go from here? Will the declining prices in the U.S. filter down to Mexico? If so, by how much? Rationally, I have to believe that there will be a price adjustment, but a lot of the buyers these days are coming from all over the world, which might keep prices rising.

So, where does the smart money go now? Don’t tell anyone, but I like the area around Manzanillo, a town that has stayed below the tourist radar due to a lack of flights into their airport from the U.S. The town itself is not the best, but the surrounding areas, in the state of Colima, is as beautiful as Mexico gets…and you’ll pay less than ½ the price of today’s hot markets.